Am I comfortable with my lukewarm Christianity filling a
place where there is sanity? What I mean to say is I can only begin to express
what I am trying to draw attention to, the tip of the iceberg.
I will however ponder
this: Do we allow ourselves to get to a place where “living” really ceases to
be living and where we instead live a life of mediocrity where what once seemed
like a lukewarm thought has dripped out of the leaky faucet of our existence,
where we now bathe ourselves in our own dirty sanity. Take out the laundry, let
it hang out to dry, let the light shine where the packaged spot remover cannot
get clean.
Now this brings me to my next thought…..But first this warning:
This may be more scattered and offensive then usual so put on your big boy/
girl pants and buckle up for the read, seriously no pun intended.
As I was driving home tonight a thought that troubled me was, what am I comfortable with tolerating in my life? Not the kind of tolerance
where you love that annoying sibling that takes your things without asking. No I
am referencing the kind that allows a life altering tolerance to pass by in your
life and in a split moment (Don’t worry I have not gone into the deep end
without my floaties again, thanks grandma).
In society there are endless amounts of chatter about what
is, what should be, and what can be tolerated today and there is even this stigma
of that was then and this is now (don’t even get me started on the last part of
that otherwise I will end up ranting). All I am simply bringing up is the
question of what do us as individuals choose to tolerate although we know it
brings conflict within ourselves. As Paul states “I do not understand what I do,
but what I hate I do…For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot
carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want
to do- this I keep on doing.” (See Romans 7:7-25) Thinking logically,
practically and rather maturely this of course can be described as nothing but absolutely
and assuredly ridiculous, yet it is so us! Let me assure you dear friend that you
are just as ridiculous as the rest of us. Some prideful, stubborn and persistent
humans (I of course am not amongst this sub pair race of creatures. Rolls eyes…)
may take a little longer to perceive the deprived state of our humanity.
Lately there are a few new artists in my collection that I have
been listening to over and over. There are also a few songs where the lyrics
stand out so clearly to me that I can feel myself getting a plank pulled from
my eye. Thanks to a friend I don’t have to listen to these songs via the
refresh button on You Tube (yes haha classy, I know). One artist I am in love
with is Sanctus Real, especially the song Eloquent. The lyrics describe me oh
so well…
I'm as eloquent as an elephant
I'm as headstrong as the Mighty King Kong
On a rampage throwing airplanes
I can't believe you haven't gone away
I am difficult, argumentative
I'm as thick skulled as the dinosaur bones on a display in a glass case
I can't believe you haven't run away
Yep that can sound just like me if I allow myself to be
ruled by myself, my own emotions and self-destructive nature.
When Life doesn’t make sense, when nothing seems to go as
you had planned to plan. When life is not as easy or convenient as you had
hoped it would be, well then what?
Normally my automatic response is to say suck it up, move
on, deal with it and begin to make other plans. Well that is not always the
case. As I am finding out it is not always about moving onto the next thing.
What I am learning is that nothing is convenient. Those who know me well know I
am over stating the obvious fact of my incredible lack of patience. I am now
the wiser that at least I DO NOT pray for patience, I instead at times endure
the lessons that come with the dealings of various avenues of my life. Literally
thank God that he is teaching me so much in my life about patience! In the meantime
God please let me not bog down those closet to me with my desire to buck
against these valuable life lessons.
Well then what?
Have you ever stopped and thought about how inconvenient
Jesus was? Seriously like I wonder if any of the disciples where ever like, “Hey
Jesus if we could stick to the schedule just once that would be greeeaat” This truly
depicts how we plan to make our own plans when God is saying stop it, it’s not
on my agenda! Everywhere Jesus went He was probably considered inconvenient,
like how about I send a friend over to some strangers place and request a table
for 12 and see how that one goes over. Ok so I am being slightly silly here in
my analogies. The point is I don’t want my life to be convenient for me or look
how I have planned. This of course is not to be mixed up with the desires of
our hearts. (Psalm 20:4, Psalm 37:4 & Isaiah 26:8)
I want what is inconvenient if it is what God has for me. “Teach
me, Lord, the way of your decrees, that I may follow it to the end” Psalm
119:33 I may not always be willing to engage in stirring the boiling pot of complacently
in my life but I will forever be indebted to responding to Gods spirit. He does
a much better job of stirring the pot anyways, I just need spend time in his presence
to restrain myself from “boiling over” when things are inconvenient to me.
.png)
